I am getting turned-on just by thinking about you reading my weblog, I can tell you that. Trust me, it's not true I make it all up for you, just like they make up where little boys and little girls come from with that stupid stork thing. Lots of things turn me on - Trepanation, clown pictures, resisting, yeast infections - but sometimes I have to learn to control myself. Mother caught Guy pumping devil paste out of his peanut one day and made me sleep in the dog kennel. I never liked that dog. The way it looked at me when I made it lick jam off my peanut. He was judging me. I hate people judging me it makes me tick. I made a sock puppet out of it's esophagus. I still haven't made my Myspace page so people can't contact me, gosh Guy get your ass together. I just want to meet a nice girl. Or a boy. Where was Guy last night? Why? I was in mother's nightgown...